I don’t know how the disgruntled will cope when Australia becomes a republic: “There are calls for a Royal Commission following [insert grievance text here…]” will disappear from the lead stories of The Age and The Guardian and Their ABC.

Reading into the story it seems the disgruntled underwent surgery for a Brazilian Butt Lift, which the reporter helpfully referred to as the BBL. The surgery went wrong, I think.

Now, having lead a sheltered life, I was unaware that the BBL could refer to either a round robin T20 cricket comp or a butt lift. It’s also not clear whether the lift is one performed only on butts of Brazilians or only by Brazilian surgeons or can anyone shuffle into the surgery and bounce out newly uplifted? I remain ignorant in this regard because I stopped reading.

Let’s keep Royal Commissions for more weighty topics.